Tips for an enjoyable surrogacy journey from a previous surrogate

Hello! My name is Tonia and I am a surrogate. I began my first journey in 2019 and my second journey in 2022. I have also worked as a surrogate case manager. I have seen wonderful journeys and I have seen matches fall apart. Today I am going to share my tips for an enjoyable surrogacy journey based on my experience.


• Be honest in the beginning about what you want out of your journey. This includes the type of relationship you want with your IP(s), if you want to match with international or a domestic IP(s), and honesty about your medical history. This will prevent complications in your journey down the line.

• Reach out to your agency if you need additional support during your journey. Little discomforts and misunderstandings transpire into bigger problems than can often be avoided with a phone call. Your agency is here for you, so don’t be shy to express your needs.

• If you have any questions about your medications and how to measure the dosage of your injections DO NOT BE SHY TO ASK. The process can be confusing and intimidating, better to ask your nurse coordinator or case manager than administer the wrong dosage of medication.

• Don’t hesitate to share positive milestones with your IP(s). Often both parties are unsure how much communication the other wants, and they end up not communicating at all or minimally. This can be disappointing to all parties that desire a more personal relationship.

• Set your boundaries up front and stick to them. If you are feeling overwhelmed, don’t be shy to voice this to your case manager, they are there to support you.

• Find a friend or two that are surrogates as well or friends that support your decision and lean on them during your pregnancy. There is nothing worse than wanting to vent about normal pregnancy issues and having a family member say something along the lines of, “well, this is what you signed up for.”

• Find joy in the journey! During my first journey, I would scrapbook for my IPs to document all of the ultrasounds and important pregnancy milestones. I wanted to share the pregnancy with my IPs as best as I could.


Every surrogacy journey is unique, and you will face your own complex challenges. The best advice I can give is to be very mindful when choosing an agency to guide you through this process. At Mothers First Surrogacy, the safety and well being of the surrogate mother is our number one priority, we know that you are a mother first and your family needs you to be well taken care of while you are giving another family the greatest gift.

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